It is safe for me to be powerful without my eating disorder.
Eating disorders are sneaky and deceptive. One of their greatest tricks is the ability to convince those of us who struggle with them that they keep us safe, and that only by engaging in them do we make ourselves powerful in any way.
My eating disorder has ways in which it tells me I can make myself powerful. For example, it tells me that by exerting myself physically while restricting, I'm making myself strong and invincible. It tells me that, in some way, being able to manipulate my body makes me special or unique. Similarly, in the past, my eating disorder told me that I was special and powerful if I was able to stay as thin as possible, and that people would like me more because of my thinness. I realize now how convoluted these promises were, and how much they stymied me from discovering other strengths, joys, passions and powers I may possess.
When we get into recovery, we realize that our eating disorders have lied to us - they haven't made us powerful at all. Rather, they hold all the power and have stripped us of our health, our voice, ourselves.
This affirmation is so compelling for recovery because it reminds us that it's okay for us to become powerful in our own lives, and that we can do this without leaning on the distorted ideas of power our eating disorders have fed us. We all deserve to recognize our true, authentic selves, and when we do this, we step into our own unique power. After using our eating disorders for so many years, it can be daunting to move forward and to allow ourselves to grow and be powerful without them. But only when we allow ourselves to take the risk, and recognize our full potentials and powers, can we be fully rid of our eating disorders.
So, let us all take time to remind ourselves that it's okay to be powerful, and that we have the right to define what this looks like for ourselves without the input of our eating disorders!
Sending you all power!
Taylor
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