I Will Trust My Soul - It Knows The Way.

I will trust my soul - it knows the way.

For many of us, trusting ourselves and our paths is a tough business.  I know that for myself, I am constantly judging or questioning my decisions, my desires, my needs, my actions, always analyzing whether I am executing my life as perfectly as possible.  This constant inner dialogue and self-judgment leaves me feeling very disconnected from my authentic self and makes it hard to recognize what I, Taylor, trust to be true and in line with my goals, feelings and beliefs.

As someone who has lived in this state of seemingly constant self-doubt and who has often felt like I was floundering when I needed to make decisions or choices, I understand how easy it is to reach for tools to guide ourselves when we are disconnected from our authentic selves.  I personally have always reached for my eating disorder -  it gave me very strict and tangible rules to adhere to and this either helped me to make choices for myself (unfortunately, choices made based on the eating disorder's rules, not based on what my authentic self would necessarily choose), or distracted me from the emotional pain of my inner critic constantly offering commentary on my thoughts and actions.

For those of us with eating disorders, we have often lost sight of our true, authentic selves, which is a place where we would know our honest thoughts, opinions, feelings and desires; when we live our life connected to this self, we make our choices from a place of inner power and connectedness with ourselves.  Knowing and connecting to ourselves is how we are able to navigate our lives in ways that make us feel good about ourselves, that utilize our potentials and make us feel like whole beings.  It is a difficult, but essential part of recovery to begin reclaiming our authentic selves and start learning to love and trust these inner selves, rather than turning to our eating disorders to help us navigate through life.

I love this affirmation, because it very simply reminds us to try and tap into our souls when we feel lost, sad, hurt, angry, scared, etc.  Instead of running to our eating disorders, we must step back and simply trust.  These words are especially soothing on a day when I find myself grappling for control or answers to questions I don't yet have the answers to.  Rather than reach for my eating disorder on these days, the work lies in trying to connect to and trust myself, to believe that my path is my own to figure out and that I have the strength and the ability to figure it out on my own, without leaning on my eating disorder.

Ultimately, each of us has our own unique journey to take and each of us, when we tap into and trust our authentic selves, find the answers and the resources within that we need to navigate our lives.  I believe all of us can find each of our ways - we just need to muster the courage to let go and trust that truthful inner voice we each have. 

Hoping we may all learn to trust ourselves and step into our lives!

Taylor